Happy Father's Day

Well, I was hoping that I would have found my dad by tomorrow, but that didn't pan out. With Ryan losing his job, my department going through re-org changes (and me applying for a promotion), Tyler's behavior, the photography biz, Aislynn's Dance Recital, and moving outta this shit hole I haven't had much time for continuing the search. At least when I come out to Chicago in July, I will be able to sit down with my dad's high school friends. Hopefully they will have some pictures or something since I have never even seen a picture of my dad.

So life has been rather busy, which is a good thing. But I'm ready to have a long stretch of time where there is NOTHING going on. No moving. No job shit. Nothing.

Ryan will not be going through with the LAPD. He didn't make it into the academy and we aren't sure why. I have heard that it has to do with a hiring freeze, but Ryan thinks that it has to do with things that happened 8 years ago. Who knows. It was a huge huge let down for Ryan. But I believe that the decision has to do with the bigger picture. Maybe the academy would have been too rough for Ryan. Maybe the hours that he would be working would have been too tiresome for our family. Who knows... So he's back to the beginning. He has been looking for jobs while he was applying with LAPD, and he hasn't been able to come up with anything. The stress is taking it's toll on our relationship and I'm doing my best to remember that this isn't going to last forever. Things will be different in 3 years. We will be in a better place and we will be able to take this experience and learn from it.

Follow Martography!

http://martography.blogspot.com/

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=)

Martography... coming soon to Chicago! Better watch out!

Seriously, though. I'm looking for some skill building sessions, so don't be surprised if I hit you up as a model. You have been warned...

I'm Ready

It took me 5 years to learn how to take a picture like this. Why so long? Because I taught myself, dammit! LMAO This was a "skill building" session with my friend's 5.5 month old daughter. Taken on a back porch.

I had my first "real" paying shoot about 2 weeks ago. It was a family portrait of 16 people. Yikes. I think it went well, but I guess I'll find out after they see the pictures.

Day 9

I have truly embraced the California Lifestyle. I have been on the "Master Cleanse" for 9 days. What is the "Master Cleanse"? It's a detox of the body by drinking only a mixture of fresh squeezed lemon juice, pure organic grade b maple syrup, cayenne pepper and lots of water. That's it.

"You are STARVING yourself!"

Nope. I'm not even hungry. It's been a really weird and refreshing experience. When I quit smoking (yes, I quit AGAIN)I didn't want to turn to food as a replacement. But the main reason for starting the cleanse was to detox my body and try to kick the cravings for cigarettes once and for all. I had stopped smoking for 3 weeks and I was STILL craving it big time. I can now honestly say that I don't even think about smoking any more. It's wonderful! My body has slimmed down as well. I started the cleanse at 131 and about 36% body fat. I'm now at 121 and 30% total body fat.

I have so much more energy, I'm sleeping better at night, I don't have the constant aches and pains I use to complain about. I actually have a DESIRE to EXERCISE. That alone is unreal. No cravings for candy or chocolate. No cravings, period.

There were many ups and downs. I was cranky and crabby some nights. I had a really bad headache for the first 2 days. The 3rd day was the hardest. The 4th day was AWESOME. I was so energetic! Day 7 was rocky, but I pulled through. Now I start day 9. I have one more day after this and I'm feeling pretty good that I actually stuck to this.

I have a totally different take on food and nourishment. Nothing that could ever keep me from eating a good meal of steak and potatoes, but just the knowledge that I don't need as much as I thought I needed.

Want to learn more? Read this:

The Complete Master Cleanse: A Step-by-Step Guide to Maximizing the Benefits of The Lemonade Diet [ILLUSTRATED] (Paperback)
by Tom Woloshyn (Author)


Read the book before starting. It takes some planning because you do not want to have a bunch of dinner parties or other social engagements planned while you are on this. I had to sit at a lunch out with my co workers at PF Changs. It was the last day for one of the girls and it was a little difficult. I did better then I thought, but I don't want to do that again!

The new and cleaned out MAR. (LMAO)

3 year old racist?

Life with kids is never dull, never boring. Just when you think you have everything down and life's road ahead looks straight and smooth, you fly over a speed bump.

Aislynn's two teachers and the director had to talk to us about our sweet little Aislynn. She was "reported". Yes, reported. Parents of a little girl came in to complain about my 3 year old. Now, sometimes she doesn't listen and there was ONE hiting incident that never happened again. But this was a reality check kind of report. The parents complained that Aislynn wouldn't play with their daughter because she was black.

Everyone knows that kids say what's on their mind (I have another story about that later), but I'm pretty shocked that my daughter would make such a bold statement on her own. She's 3! According to Aislynn, she did "say 'black' to (insert name here)". But what does that really mean? Do I really believe that my 3 year old daughter answered this other little girl with the statement, "I don't want to play with you because you are black!"? I'm not sure. She has another little friend that is black. She has friends that are all different races; that's what I love about it out here. The different cultures and people that make you realize and understand what a small part of the world you really are.

I had to work late, so I wasn't able to sit down and really talk to her about this. I asked her if she was friends with this little girl. She said yes. I told her how special it was that we were all made to be different: our eye colors, hair color, body shape, and skin color. She looked at me and said, "am I in trouble for saying 'black' to (insert name)?" Reality - she's 3. She wasn't calling her "black". She was stating a fact. Just like the time that Tyler referred to his best friend at school "his brown friend". Kids are honest and him and Aislynn were stating a difference. Now that I sit here and write this out, I realize that stating a difference isn't in line for a punishment. This is the time when the parents need to come out of the bat cave after the distress beacon is alarmed. A perfect situation for parenting. These are the opportunities that we as parents are going to stumble upon that will make or break how your offspring is going to live and thrive in society.

I looked at Aislynn and I didn't have any words. She's 3.

It made me think of the other parents and what they are saying to their little girl. "Run and tell us when someone says your different!"
"The world is wrong! You're not different!"
"That cracker will never hurt you again!"

Okay, I know. Overboard. I'll never know what really happened between Aislynn and this kid. I just think that if you make the choice to overreact as a parent and rush to point fingers, you'll set your child and yourself up for failure. Life is such a learning experience that I wish had Cliff Notes. Kids say what they think, and stating a fact is not crime. Not when you are 3.

2 Minute Blog

I have 2 minutes.

It's a full moon so that means one thing: all of the phone calls that I am going to receive today at work are going to be crazy.

Why does a full moon do that to people? I guess that I could blame it on the time change.

The End.

Photography and a Brat.

I'm tired.

Shot an Engagement Party yesterday and it still amazes me how tiring taking pictures can be. Don't get me wrong... I love that I am getting paid to do this, but wow! I know why photographers charge so much.

I arrived at 1 pm which it the time that the bride-to-be told me to get there. The room was empty. I called her and she told me that she forgot the cake. She had wanted to do group shots before 2, so I just guessed that this wasn't going to happen.

She arrived at about 1:45 pm, and so I started. The party was at a bowling alley in Universal City. Very cool place. They had a private room that had WII hooked up, then we hit the lanes. I walked out with about 250(?) photos and after processing I have 150. Not bad! That just means that my skills are improving! Waaaa hooooo! I also was able to have those 150 shots color balanced and cleaned up in less then 3 hours.

On another note, Tyler got into some trouble at school. His behavior at the beginning of last week was AWESOME! On Thursday it went down the toilet. Ryan was told at the after school program that he has not been listening to the coaches and he was even talking back. That didn't fly with me. He was grounded to his room for the rest of Friday night and ALL of Saturday and half of Sunday. "But he's only 5!" you might say. Well, when 5 year old child starts behaving like a 14 year old brat, a 5 minute time out sure isn't going to get the point across that his attitude needs an adjustment. Not respecting people does not fly in this house. Ryan and I raised him better then that. I never have heard of a child acting better towards their parents then their teachers. I gave my mom full attitude growing up, but I was always nicer to my teachers. She would comment on it all the time: "Missy, I just don't understand why you are such a brat at home but so good at school!".

Sorry, Mom!

New Pictures. A little of everything...

I haven't introduced any new pictures to the blog in months. So let's go digging on the external hard drive and see what I can come up with...


Just a silly picture of myself since I'm always BEHIND the camera.


Tyler and Teddy at the skate park.


Aislynn at dance class. She's a ham...


On the big ferris wheel in Santa Monica. Taken around Christmas time.


Tyler... He's so handsome.

More to come! I just uploaded some from this past weekend.

EMO Wreck

I got a call yesterday from Ryan. Turns out that his dad knows the guy that was friends with my dad. So FIL called him up and spoke to his wife. The wife confirmed that they knew a Gary Smith and hung out with him, but they haven't spoke to him in 20 years. She went on to say that he had a car accident and cleaned up his act. So that was a good thing to hear... But I wasn't convinced. SO I called my mom. She confirmed that my father had been involved in a car accident that shook him up. So now I am convinced.

This wife also gave us a name of a room mate. So now it's time to track down another person who hopefully still keeps in contact with my dad.

I'm close... sooooooo close.

Dear God...

Can you please add 5 extra hours to the day? I'm requesting that these hours start right after 8:00pm. So midnight could now be 17:00am.

Just sleep on it and let me know.

Respectfully Yours,
MAR

Need to cut back

Okay.

When did I end up with 4 blogs? That's insane. Time to clean up! I can barely keep up with one, let alone 4! 2 photography ones, the family one, and then this one. I guess at the time I felt a need to have 4. Wow. I was greedy.

I have another photo job coming up 2/4 and 2/5. =) Company meeting off site activities. Wedding scheduled in August. A couple of family shoots coming up in the next few months if I can actually get off my rear and get pricing for them. This is the hardest thing for me. I'm totally undercharging. I just love taking pictures so much that half the time I do sittings for free. No wonder why I've become so popular! Anyways, with martography.com almost complete and lots to add to my portfolio, it's time to sit on the business side... very hard thing to do. But if I was to ever have a second job, this would be it!

Kids are doing well. Getting big. Growing. Talking back. You know, the fun stuff. Gone are the days of cooing and telling people about "the firsts". Time outs and manipulation is here to stay! Bribes and twinkies!

Me: (sticky sweet tone) "No dessert if you don't finish your dinner"
Tyler: "THIS DINNER SUCKS"
Me: (sticky sweet tone) "I love you too, honey!"

Holy God am I crabby. Is this how I'm going to be for the rest of my
non smoking life? Even a nap didn't help. And the best thing is that
Ryan will bitch back at me. Makes for a wonderful weekend!

Melissa

Competitive moms. I'm sitting in the waiting area at Aislynn's dance
class. It's the first time that I have been able to leave her in there
by herself and I wish that I could go back in. There are two moms out
here and they are friends, but they have been back and forth with each
other of who has more going on. Not THEM, but their kids. It's kind of
funny. Their daughters are doing a trial class, and one of the women
is already talking with the studio about her testing into the advanced
class. Um, I could understand if this child was 12 and has been in
dance for years, but she's 7 and it seems as though this is her first
time in dance. Wow. That's really pushing your kids if you ask me. But
that's how it is out here.

So 10 more minutes left to go. Now I don't know what I'm going to do
with my time in the waiting room. I'll bring in some activity sign up
sheets to fill out and enroll the kids in as many activities as they
can stay awake for. Then I'll practice my bragging for the "battle of
the busy kids" war and I will win. Oh yes.... I will win.

Melissa

When Dreams Seem So Real...

I had some crazy crazy dreams last night. The warning on the box of nicotine patches holds true: May have vivid dreams (not the exact wording, but close enough). I had a dream last night that I met my father. It was amazing. Very emotional and so "real". I can still picture what he looked like, what he felt like when I hugged him, what he SMELLED like. He told me that I have an older brother and a younger sister. He showed me a picture of nieces and nephews that I had. It was awesome. I woke up with crust around my eyes that clearly told me I was crying in my sleep...

I feel like I'm loosing time. What action am I suppose to take now? I spoke with my mom about him and she gave me as much information as she could. I was off with a few things that I thought I knew, so I have to start over. I'm hoping to have something by the time we take our next visit; someone to actually meet and physically hug. Then I can cry while I'm awake and know that it's not a dream.

MTV

Why can't this channel play music videos?

How can they even have an awards show if they never play the videos for people to see?

Why do they think that watching a spoiled, bratty child having a 16th birthday party that cost more then the average American makes in one year makes good TV?

I need to keep my mouth shut

So we are in Hollywood today. A few men were pushing hip hop CDs for
$20. No name group selling CDs... Fir $20. I politely said "no thank
you" and then said "Good Luck".. The guy totally took it the wrong way
and started yelling ,"Who said that!?!? You don't know where I'm
from!!! Where I go home to!" Really? Really. Well, I'm still going to
say good luck because now you were an asshole and that piss poor
attitude that you are throwing at me isn't going to get you any
further in life you pushy m' f'er! Now back the f up and let me
through since you have obviously pointed out that I'm better then you.
Pffffghgghghg.

Welcome 2009!

So it's a new year and of course there is a list of things that I want to accomplish in the next 12 months. But I think that it's silly to wait to start in January then in July. Does the day really matter? Hell no. I'm just a procrastinator! I'm awesome at it.

My one thing that I need to do is to start blogging DAILY. One blog a day. It can be one sentence or even just a picture. But I'm going to put it out there. I hate visiting blogs that have gone without care for months! So if you don't think that anyone reads your blog, you're wrong! But I can't name names because I'm not the quickest at blogging either.

Christmas - We had a great day and I'm still tired from it. Tyler was up at 2am crying to open presents. Aislynn was up at 6am and barfed on the couch. Lovely. My brother in law and his boxer have been with us for 2 weeks which has been nice but it's starting to turn interesting. His dog is the sweetest boxer EVER and if he wasn't so big, I would steal him. The kids have been out of school for 2 weeks and I know that I'm ready for them to go back. A schedule does a child wonders and when there isn't one all hell breaks loose. Anyways, Santa brought lots of great toys for the kiddos. I have no idea where we are going to put all of this stuff. I wish that Santa would have brought me a house or even just an extra closet. Some more square footage would have been ideal! But I got a new camera. She's BEAUTIFUL. Canon 50D. I shot my first wedding in December and Ryan and I both realized that an upgrade was needed. I've had a few contacts about more work so I'm excited! =) I've learned so much in the past 2 years that I'm confident enough to take on paying gigs. Now I just have to get some business cards printed up once I figure out a logo. You know I have to be as professional as I can be, right?

So I hope that 2009 brings lots of love and good health to everyone! And some luck... pick the winning lotto numbers and I promise that I'll only ask for a couple million.