And so it begins...

Hello. And welcome to my little world.



I'm 28.

A female.

A mother.

A wife.



And today I start my life as an EX-SMOKER. Is that how it's suppose to be labeled? An EX-SMOKER? Do I really have to let the rest of the world know that there was a time in my life when I did smoke? I'm really good at quitting; I've done it so many times that it's second nature. And I'm REALLY god at starting up after quitting for a while. I've quit for both my pregnancies and still went back the first chance that I got. How's that for dedication?



I started when I was 16. Two wonderful friends (who are twins! =)) gave me my first smoke. But I can't blame it on them! That wouldn't be truthful and it sure as hell wouldn't be accurate. If you really want to know when my first cig was, it was at age 5. Yes. Age 5. I found a 1/2 smoked cig and decided that it would be neat to try it. After all, my mother smoked (still does!) and I wanted to be just like her (more on that in later postings!). So I picked up that damn thing, put it to my lips and took a drag. I was surprised when my eyes started watering, my fingers began burning and I started gagging. I'm sure that I didn't actually "inhale" but I got a taste of it and though, "This is nasty! This one may have rotted or something!". I really thought that it "went bad" because of the rancid taste in my mouth. Two small blisters formed on my index and middle finger. Knowing that I would probably get reamed for picking up something "icky" off the ground, I sucked up the stinging and went into my room. I never told anyone. Anyways, my two friends and I were headed to Barnes and Noble to study or something and they took out some cigarettes. "You want one?" twin number 1 asked. Hell yes I did! These girls were "cool" and I was just damn happy that we were "hanging out". Just as when I was 5, I lit that thing up and inhaled - straight into my lungs. My eyes watered and I forced with everything in my body not to start gagging. I was able to play off a few coughs, but I was mortified! I seriously thought that I was making an ass out of my self and wouldn't live another day as a Sophomore. So that was that. It wasn't long after that I got a hold of my own pack. It's funny, but I can't even remember how I got my first pack or where it came from. I can remember the smell of opening a new pack. Ahhhhh! I do remember that a girl we hung out with was able to buy CARTONS from the Mobil up the street from school. The owner/attendant thought that she was in college (not a senior in high school) and she would introduce all of us as "college friends". What a hook up. I could swing by the Mobile after school when ever I needed to and I never got carded.

I think one of the main reasons (there are a few) that I wanted to quit smoking was my husband. He wasn't a smoker when I met him and I turned him into one. Even this morning I could hear hi hacking up a lung and that was that: I knew that if I kept smoking he would too. And he's breathing and coughing weren't good. The smoking just aspirated everything and I hated that he smoked.

Did you know smoking takes away about 14 YEARS of your life? That sucks.
Did you know that my daughter asked me if she could try smoking? She's not even 3. That sucks.

So I quit. And right now, that sucks too.