Proud to announce...

http://marsphotography.blogspot.com/

With great (nervous) pleasure, I announce the new MARs Photography blog!

I've been actually getting some work, so I'm building my blog. I got my first wedding job a couple weekends back. And Santa brought me a new camera so I'm ready to roll!

MAR.

Searching for a pin in a haystack

I've decided to deepen the search for my dad. Well, I can't say "deepen" because I never really started. I always felt like it would be an insult to my mom if I tried to locate him, but now that I'm approaching 30, I figure any sort of an insult would be silly. It's not like he can provide me with any additional upbringing since the hard part was taken care of 20 years or so ago.

So I've contacted the school district that I think he may have attended. Believe it or not, there are still nice people out in the world that have a heart and someone is assisting me in looking at archives to see if they can match the name and the age. It's totally a shot in the dark since he has probably one of the most common names in America.

Tyler's Shadow

Art by Tyler! Note the sun in the upper left, the blue sky, and the shadow (my favorite part).

November 5th - On a Personal Level

The election was exciting. I was unable to vote because my lazy ass still is with out a CA driver's license and I didn't even think of getting an absentee ballot for Illinois (if that was even possible). But this isn't about the presidential election. My focus was on the propositions that were floating around about gay marriage. As my friends know, my mom is gay and has been with the same partner since I was 8. Sure, it was "different" growing up since it was accepted nearly as much as it is today. Rumors always floated behind me in the halls of Junior High because you damn well know that if my mom is gay then so am I! LOL.

But on a serious note, the word of these propositions not passing brings on a very sensitive and emotional side to me as I sit here blurry-eyed. Not from last nights sleep that is swimming across my face, but the tears from defeat (California's results are not completely counted). I may have had difficult moments growing up, but it was at my own fault from being too young to understand "motherly love" from "mean mom".

Call me cocky, but I turned out to be one hell of a great person. And I attribute that to my upbringing. Not only the rearing of my birth mom, but also of the woman that was given to me by fate, Karen. She taught me (and continues to) to be understanding, selfless, loving, strong, and beautiful (yes, beautiful!). As anyone with a step parent or if they are step parents themselves, this is never an easy task. Being a parent in general isn't an easy task. But you reap the rewards a little bit each day and 20 years later you can bask in the glory of your child's successes and even the hardships since your child came through swinging (because that's what you taught them to do) and lived to tell about it.

The only thing that I have ever wanted for my parents is extreme happiness. Now, I'm not saying that getting married would give them "extreme happiness" but I feel it's time that they would have the option to do so if they wanted. As they both get older, it becomes more apparent how the benefits of marriage would help them out for the road that they continue to travel as they grow old together. It's a reward that they damn well deserve after rearing me into the person that I am today. The day or time may not come today and I can only hope that it comes sooner then the wait that equality took for so many others that were "different" from the general population. As Obama gets his chair cleaned off from the mess that sat in it before him, I hope that American's also take a nice long hot shower to scrub themselves of the filth and grime of old-school thinking. See? I have two moms and I didn't grow up with a third eye on my forehead.

We are one melting pot of hope. And I know that I'll be the maid of honor in my moms' wedding.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween. What an awesome holiday. No need to exchange gifts! You can dress up as anyone or anything that you can imagine. I love it! This year I was Marie Antoinette. I made the entire costume except for the gold dress. That was a child's princess costume. I cut it up and made it my own. I do have to admit that the costume came out awesome and I was able to win "Most Scary" at work. Woo hoo! Check it out!

So far so good.

Well, Sunday was hell so compared to that day I seem to be doing better. I ate some chocolate. Rock on.

Tyler got his first little "score card" sent home. Seems like my sweet little munchkin isn't doing so well in a few areas. He needs to learn his shapes (which I thought he already knew)and he has to do a better job following directions, listening and working quietly at his desk. Ryan and I are thinking that he is the little class clown at school which is fine and dandy, but he better realize that the school WORK comes first. The teacher also mentioned something about him developing better work habits.

Oh. I need to post pictures. I haven't done that in a while. I'm off to work, so I'll do it the next time I post.

Having a bad weekend

Something isn't right in my brain this weekend. I don't know if it has
to do with quitting smoking (yes, quoting AGAIN) or if I really need
to go in and get my meds adjusted again. I can say that this does
happen almost once a month, but it's hell and Ryan just has no idea
how to handle it. Instead of trying to make me feel better, he just
snaps at me asking me what my problem is. Hey, dickhead! I'm bi polar
and depressed! Maybe you would take a little more care when asking me
about my feelings since I'm on the brink of just running away so no
one can find me. He's such an ass when it comes to dealing with
"episodes". I don't have them that often, and his support is a big
deal when it comes to how long they last and even how bad they get. I
can honestly say that tomorrow at work I'll probably feel 80 percent
better. Monday feels so far away!

Melissa

Smores anyone?

Im sitting at my desk and it smells like a campfire. At least everyone
smells the same.
Melissa

Fire Update

This was just taken at about 12:45pm. You can totally tell that Ryan and I haven't been through many fires. No one else seems to think anything of the fire, even though it's inching closer and closer every hour. I called Danielle to see what we should do and she said that she was going to head home from work and maybe watch the fire from her porch. LMAO. I'm off to throw some things in my car...

The Valley is on Fire...How about a Doughnut?

So the valley is on fire. Santa Ana winds have been such a wonderous help putting out the fire that some dumb ass set and now I'm buried under a smokey blanket. My eyes burned as I headed out to my work to take care of some things on my requested day off. It's unlikely that it will make it's way anywhere near us, but the smoke was almost too much for me and I did not appriciate watching flakes of ash fall from the sky.

I had the news on and a newsreporter was reporting of the evacuations that were taking place for residence near the fire area. The Red Cross set up camp at the local High School and was taking people. The guy went on talking about these people having no time to pack up belongings and get to shelter. He also then went on to say that people have been "arriving and enjoying doughnuts and soda". Seriously? I would have thought that a more, um, healthy snack would have been provided for these people that are stressed and sleep deprived. It's no wonder why this country is so f'ing overweight. Stressed out? Have some sugar.

Now, I should complain too much because these items could have been donated by a local business. I would have thought that at least water would have been the beverage of choice. Don't you just love my ramblings?

Okay, on to the fire. A second one has broken out in Porter Ranch, which is closer to us. Woo hoo...

Home Sweet Home

We returned from our trip to Illinois on Sunday. This return was much harder then the others. I really can't explain why. Ryan and I even questioned if we would ever move back, and I couldn't see why not until we returned back to California. It has been in the 90's and while we were out in IL it was in the mid 50's. Ahhhh yes. I was happy to return back to the smog and sunshine! It may not be the cleanest city. It may not have the lush lawns and cookie cutter houses as the good ole Mid West, but there is something here that would be hard to leave.

We had a busy busy week with a wedding and a surprise birthday party. There were many many friends to visit, and a special "new" one that I couldn't meet in person due to a wonderful cold (Peyton, thanks for making your enterance while I was in town!). I wore myself out staying up super late and traveling many miles around the greater Chicago suburbs to have a round of shots or a round of laughs with the people that keep me coming back. Thanks to everyone for any effort that was made to hang out past YOUR bedtime and have one or two shots with the old couple from L.A.

But as I hugged everyone goodbye, I couldn't help but to feel so alone. Ryan and I started "early": married at 21, first baby at 23, second at 25... all the while my friends lived it up in college or went out for "girls' night" which I was never invited to. Now that my kids are older, I sit back and watch those friends catch up. Getting married, having children, gaining careers. I can't help but to feel 10 years older then they are and the burn of missing out on times that should have been care free and simple. I'm not saying that I would have changed anything that I started and finished or that I would have decided to do anything differently. In another 5 years they will catch up to where I was and life will provide us more to talk about. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to "leave" or a more fun crowd to "return" to. Just don't ever assume that I wouldn't want to know the gossip or that I may not enjoy some random pictures of all you nuts at a random get-together.

With that I give you fare warning of the Ross' return in May. So be rested and ready to go... we'll have a lot to catch up on.

Peyton

Awesome news: Peyton has arrived! 6 lbs 6oz 19in. I cannot believe
that the timing worked out just so that she would be born while we
were visiting, but I'm pissed as hell that I can't go visit before I
leave because I'm f'ing sick.

But congrats to Jessica and Mike! They are going to be wonderful
parents.

Melissa

Here I Am!

Miss Jessica was wondering where I was... Well, here I am! Still rocking and rolling in the Valley. There hasn't been a lot to blab about. I'm counting down the days until we board the plane and fly over to IL. It's a well deserved vacation that I'm hoping will go smoothly. Aislynn has reached an all new height of diva-ness. Did I miss the note that should have been sent to me from the Parenting Gods on her 3rd birthday? Where in hell did this attitude come from? She wants what she wants, and she wants it NOW. Even if you try to prepare for a diva moment in advance to avoid the window shaking screams, something isn't to the queen's likeing.

We have been trying to figure out what to get the kids involved in since they are now both at that age for organized events outside of the Chuck E. Cheese circle. We took a trip to the YMCA to see if there was anything there that we could get involved in. We were talking to Diva about dance classes: "Yes. I want to take dance! Yes, mommy, yes!". Okay, very good. We would go home and look into dance classes for Diva. Big mistake. We wound up dragging Diva through the parking lot of the Y with her screaming, "DDDAAAAAAANNNCE! I WANT TO DANCE!"

"IWANTTODAAAAAAAAANCENOWTAKEMEBACKTAKEMEBACKIWANNNNNAADAAAAANNNCE!"

Trust me, Diva. If I could have left you there to dance, I would have.

Chocolate milk. The stuff is like crack for the kids. Tyler is a little more in control of himself these days, so if he asks for the drug and we tell him that it's coming with dinner, he's cool with that.

Bring in the Diva.

"Gimme chocolate milk? Now? Can I have it now? I want chocolate milk! Give me chocolate milk! I want chocolate milk! Chocolate milk! Chocolate milk! Chocolate milk! Chocolate milk! Chocolate milk! Chocolate milk! CHOCOLATEMILKCHOCOLATE MILKCHOCOLATEMILKCHOCOLATEMILKCHOCOLATEMILKCHOCOLATEMILKCHOCOLATE MILK (and insert a few screams that sound like she lost a limb).

Chocolate milk, anyone? Water? Juice? Glass of wine with a pill to make you feel happy?

Moved

we are moved in to the new apartment. I cannot say if I like it or not since the mountain of boxes and super lack of floor space keeps me at bay. Ty and Ais love having their own rooms and they both actually slept in their rooms. Could this just be too good to be true? If these kids are going to go to bed every night without a fight, then I will tolorate the horrid smell of bad cooking that seeps user my front door every night at 6 pm.

5.4

So we had this rather large Earthquake yesterday. 5.4
The feeling was unreal and the feelings after it have been even crazier. I'm now on "Earthquake Watch". The whole episode lasted only 10 seconds, but the mortality that Mother Nature presented is lasting a hell of a lot longer.

Here's what happened. No worries. I'm not going into this big dramatic drama! It was everything that happened after the quake that was interesting.

I felt this slight rumble that felt like a train was passing by the building. Then a big jolt and lots of rolling and shaking. Things started to fall off of my desk. I ducked under my desk and held on. The ceiling lights were swinging and I just closed my eyes.

After it was over, our CEO was running through the office telling everyone to get out. Now, I wasn't exactly sure why. I know, it would seem rather obvious why but I was just in a daze. I grabbed my purse, my fallen pictures of the kids and left. EVERYONE was on their cell phones, but no one was getting through to anyone. I guess that this is very common after a quake, so to my family and friends: if you can't reach us right away, don't panic! Anyways, I was trying to call Ryan. I couldn't get a call through, but I was able to text him. It didn't occur to me right away to check on the kids. Again, I know! This would seem obvious to anyone, right? But I was dazed! My body still felt like it was shaking and for some reason I was just standing outside waiting for the ground to go into convulsions or something. So after sometime outside, my co worker and I left to go pick up the lunch that we ordered right before the quake hit.

We went and got our tacos (it was the weekly "Taco Tuesday" in our area!). The joint was empty, which was odd, but I figure that since the quake hit at lunch time, everyone was busy dealing with it. We grabbed our food and walked back to the car. I saw this couple staring out towards the hills. What are they looking at? I looked and didn't see anything. But then this huge German Shepard dog comes racing towards the restaurant. "Get in the car! Get in the car!" My co worker looked at me funny and then I screamed, "There's a dooooooog!". This dog was running full speed and barking. It looked like he was chasing something but there wasn't anything running from it. We jumped in the car and watched the dog pass right by us and run right into the busy street. "Don't look! DON'T LOOK!". We looked at each other for a few seconds and then back to the street that the dog ran across. Thank God the dog wasn't hit. That would have been one image that I would have had a hard time getting out of my head. When we left, we didn't see the dog at all. I don't know where the heck it went and I was confused that I couldn't see it. Man, that dog was spooked. Everyone says that animals sense natural disasters, and that dog was sensing something.

That was the main thing that spooked me out for the rest of the day - The dog chasing nothing. I've never seen an animal so spooked and I felt like someone was trying to show me something or tell me something. I took that sign seriously.

It was hard trying to make it through the rest of the day. Any little rattle that I heard sent my heart racing. Someone that was walking past my cube wall bumped it and I almost pissed myself. Taking phone calls was impossible. I couldn't talk.

Ryan didn't feel the quake like I did. To him, it was just some shaking in his chair and he saw a few co workers getting under their desks. By the time he realized what was going on, it was over. He called later with the news that the trains have been shut down since they were inspecting the tracks. I would need to drive to Burbank to pick him up and get the kids from school. Fine with me! I left work to get the kids.

Aislynn and Tyler thought completely different things of the Quake. Aislynn was scared. In her own words: There was a monster banging on the windows. I got scared and went under the table! Tyler: That was AWESOME! Teacher said that the Earth moved!

Once home, I was able to check out our place which seemed untouched. We have stacks and stacks of boxes all over (we're moving on Thursday!). It didn't occur to me that they could have toppled over and flattened my dog. Thank Heavens that nothing happened. Nothing fell of any shelves.

It was the only thing that the news stations covered. The kinda cool thing was that they were showing footage of shows that were taping when the quake hit: People's Court, Big Brother, and a couple other ones. The People's Court was amusing. You could totally tell that the plaintiff and the defendant weren't from Earthquake Country. They just stood there as the whole room started shaking and while everyone else started running out of the studio.

So that's my "aftershock". I'm still on edge and I'm sure that I'll have another day of waiting for the shakes and the jolts. Anyone got a Valium?

It's BRITNEY, Bitch!

And she is looking great!
WTG girl. The world may not understand you, but who gives a shit?!?!

Dirty Cell Phone? CLEAN IT UP!

When do you talk on your cell phone?

In the car?
In your home?
While shopping?
While taking a shit?

I have come to notice that there is an abundance of people who think that it's perfectly okay to bring not only their cell phone into the toilet, but to bring their conversation in there as well. Seriously? It's one thing to have to sit and listen to the echos of what your stall mate is talking about to the person on the other end, but for sanitary reasons, this is just wrong. It's gross.

Next time I'm in the stall next to you and I hear you chatting on the phone while you are dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool, you are going to be in for a surprise. I'm going to do one of two things:
Sing very loudly in my stall. The acoustics are great in a bathroom

or

I'm going to make the most obnoxious farting and gas-like noises that I can with my hands to my mouth, or my mouth to the crook of my elbow (I'll probably use the elbow because it's a bathroom and I should keep my hands away from my mouth).

I'm going to do this until you leave the bathroom and take your dirty self somewhere else. Go outside and have your conversation. We live in a fucking state that has sunshine 360 days of the year. Enjoy the sun.

'Nuff said.

Mid Life Crisis?

I need to figure out wtf I want to do with myself. Mainly it's work. Love my job, but is it what I really want to do? What DO I really want to do? I'm the "jack of all trades" when it comes to crafting. I can do a little bit of everything. Sewing, jewelry, scrapping,knitting and photography. My realy love is photography. Could I make a living doing this? I don't know. Do I want to try to make some money doing this? I don't know. I have shot many events in the last few months for work and I have always gotten really great feedback. But is this something that I want to do? 5 years from now, will I still be in love with it? I don't know.

I asked Ryan: "If you could be anything (career wise) what would you be doing?"
Ryan: "NBA Star"

Okay. That's not much help. We have tossed around the idea of opening a boutique. Ryan was all excited about it and now he never mentions it.

I just don't want to look back 10 years from now and wish that I would have done something different. AS Ryan climbs up the corporate ladder, I look at him and wonder if this is something that he WANTS to do or if it is something that he HAS to do... Are we programmed to think that we have to work a corporate job and then grasp a false feeling of satisfaction when we have one? Now, I know that he cannot be a basketball star, but it makes me think that maybe he should be doing something that surrounds sports or something.

I'll chew on this for a while. I have to get ready for my desk job.

Home Sick - Vomiting in a Bucket

I'm home sick.
Being in California you forget the excitement of Summer since the weather is BEAUTIFUL all year round. Well, except for our Winters. We do get some rain for a few days here and there. But hey, I'll take it.

Back in Illinois, Summer marked many things. First, there was the confirmation that it will not snow. Some may laugh, but it's the truth. Spring tends to be the most exciting season for many people in different parts of the country, but in Chicago you could easily bet a buck that it would snow in April, or that you will have to wear a sweater in May. Then you get rain, rain, rain, rain. Which creates a smell of mud and worms that I wish to not remember.

Then comes the 4th of July. It's THE official start of Summer in my opinion. The BBQs, the parties, swimming, baking in the sun, the humidity (not my favorite part). Ahhh yes. You have not experienced humidity if you haven't been to Chicago when it's 90+ degrees with 90+ humidity. Okay, if you've been in a rain forrest you have but that's not what I'm after.

So to all my loved ones back in the MIDWEST, hold your Miller Lites high and have a toast to the California girl who misses you all more now then anything. Wipe your sweating brow and blow a kiss! I'll be back soon...

Testing, testing

I guess that through the power of technology I'm able to post to my blog through my phone. I'm hoping that this will work. Then I can just post random crap when ever I feel like it. No more waiting until I get home! No more random post it notes stuck all over the inside of my purse. Waa hoo!

MAR

Vacation = Pink Eye

Not me. The Dog.
Nasty. I spent the last 20 minutes carefully combing out clumped up dried eye gook out of his left eye. The clump was huge and at one point I was gagging so hard that I had to stop and regroup.

He seems to be much happier now that he can see out of his eye. There's no big pile of gook blocking his vision.

Off to wash my hands... with bleach. The last thing that I want is pink eye from a damn dog.

"So, how was your vaca....Oh HELL! What is wrong with your EYE?!?!"

Jess, have fun drinking that shit for your glucose test. May God be on your side that you don't have any morning sickness. I had such a hard time keeping it down and was gagging at the smell. But then again I had morning sickness up until the end of my 7th month or something. *hug* (I don't know if that's for you or for me.)

MAR

Vacation = Stress

I'm on vacation. This meaning that I filled out a little sheet requesting a couple days off and had it signed by a higher up. So I'm now on vacation. And as I sit on my couch watching I Love Lucy, I realize that I'm stressed. Do I start packing for the move at the end of the month? Do I clean up the neglected mess of a house? Or do I just sleep for a few hours because thinking of doing everything else that I'm suppose to be doing is making me feel like I need to vomit? I'm starting to see that taking a vacation day with out having anywhere to actually go makes no sense. You see, I can't just sit back and relax. That would be a waste of a day and if I'm at work, then that is a good enough excuse to not get anything done around the house. I've been up since about 6:15 AM. Dropped the kids off at school at 8, ate a sandwich and felt the stress tell my body that the sandwich was a foreign object. So I slept. Now it's 12:45 PM and I haven't gotten a damn thing done. I'm MORE stressed out because I feel like I have wasted 1/2 the day.

*sigh*. That's enough whining for now. And yes, I would like some cheese with it.

Goat... The OTHER White Meat.

Found this today...

I love to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my biiiike!

My bike kicks ass.
I need to take a picture of it.
It's a 7-speed beach cruiser.
Seafoam Green.

My bike has a
little
white
wire basket
attached to the front.

I do not have a bell on my bike.

When I need to pass some one while riding to work, I scream, "PASSING ON YOUR LEFT!!!!!".
The only problem is that more than half the time they do not speak English, so who knows what they think I'm saying.

I think that a bell may be beneficial to my safety and those that I have to pass.

Classic Video

Aislynn was 22 months old and she was ready for MARDI GRAS!

A Green Bag and a Pile of Shit

Dogs... I love them. I love mine and I have never really met one that I didn't like. They love you when they first meet you and there is nothing better than coming home after a long day and having your dog act like you've been gone for 12 days instead of 8 hours.

But there is one problem I have and that isn't the problem of a dog, it's the problem of the thing on the other end of the leash-the owner.

Our nice little community is "pet friendly". So if you want, you can move in with your little furball and be happy. You can take Fifi or Fido out for a walk on the back walking path and enjoy the beautiful weather. But some owners fail to pay attention to these little green boxes that hold plastic baggies and have a nice container underneath. They are the home of "Poo Pouches" and they are EVERYWHERE. So your sweet little dog does his business and you grab a bag and pick it up. After that, you walk maybe 30 steps or so back to the can and toss it. What a concept! Fifi was able to take care of business and there is no evidence what so ever! Simple right?

Here is what I have been noticing: it's not the owners of the small dogs that have problems with this, it's those that own a dog that is capable of landing a pile of poop that is the size of that small dog. And I'm finding these football-size dumps RIGHT NEXT TO THE POO POUCH STAND!!!! Seriously. It makes no sense. There's nothing like playing with your 3 year old in the grass and seeing that your toddler's face is inches away from a pile of shit.

Now, the community manager has warned that they will fine the person(s) if they do not pick up after their pet, but quite honestly I have never seen one of these community members out there. Are we suppose to report them? Kind of like a "neighborhood watch" but maybe we could call it "poop patrol". Ridiculous. Pick up after your damn dog. It's part of the responsibility of having one. Your poor dog could be mortified and humiliated... (hey, you never know what they could be thinking!).

Sigh. I'm out. Walking my dog and making my community cleaner one Poo Pouch at a time.

It's.....f''ing... HOT. This was on Thursday. On Friday, my temp thingie in my truck actually said 114. Thank God humidity is a thing of dreams in California. Could you even imagine what this would feel like with 80% humidity?

And so it begins...

Hello. And welcome to my little world.



I'm 28.

A female.

A mother.

A wife.



And today I start my life as an EX-SMOKER. Is that how it's suppose to be labeled? An EX-SMOKER? Do I really have to let the rest of the world know that there was a time in my life when I did smoke? I'm really good at quitting; I've done it so many times that it's second nature. And I'm REALLY god at starting up after quitting for a while. I've quit for both my pregnancies and still went back the first chance that I got. How's that for dedication?



I started when I was 16. Two wonderful friends (who are twins! =)) gave me my first smoke. But I can't blame it on them! That wouldn't be truthful and it sure as hell wouldn't be accurate. If you really want to know when my first cig was, it was at age 5. Yes. Age 5. I found a 1/2 smoked cig and decided that it would be neat to try it. After all, my mother smoked (still does!) and I wanted to be just like her (more on that in later postings!). So I picked up that damn thing, put it to my lips and took a drag. I was surprised when my eyes started watering, my fingers began burning and I started gagging. I'm sure that I didn't actually "inhale" but I got a taste of it and though, "This is nasty! This one may have rotted or something!". I really thought that it "went bad" because of the rancid taste in my mouth. Two small blisters formed on my index and middle finger. Knowing that I would probably get reamed for picking up something "icky" off the ground, I sucked up the stinging and went into my room. I never told anyone. Anyways, my two friends and I were headed to Barnes and Noble to study or something and they took out some cigarettes. "You want one?" twin number 1 asked. Hell yes I did! These girls were "cool" and I was just damn happy that we were "hanging out". Just as when I was 5, I lit that thing up and inhaled - straight into my lungs. My eyes watered and I forced with everything in my body not to start gagging. I was able to play off a few coughs, but I was mortified! I seriously thought that I was making an ass out of my self and wouldn't live another day as a Sophomore. So that was that. It wasn't long after that I got a hold of my own pack. It's funny, but I can't even remember how I got my first pack or where it came from. I can remember the smell of opening a new pack. Ahhhhh! I do remember that a girl we hung out with was able to buy CARTONS from the Mobil up the street from school. The owner/attendant thought that she was in college (not a senior in high school) and she would introduce all of us as "college friends". What a hook up. I could swing by the Mobile after school when ever I needed to and I never got carded.

I think one of the main reasons (there are a few) that I wanted to quit smoking was my husband. He wasn't a smoker when I met him and I turned him into one. Even this morning I could hear hi hacking up a lung and that was that: I knew that if I kept smoking he would too. And he's breathing and coughing weren't good. The smoking just aspirated everything and I hated that he smoked.

Did you know smoking takes away about 14 YEARS of your life? That sucks.
Did you know that my daughter asked me if she could try smoking? She's not even 3. That sucks.

So I quit. And right now, that sucks too.